28th April 2018,
I've start sensing some changes going on in myself.
This is not early, but new. Very new.
I don't know if this gonna turn out serious or not
because to be honest I know how risky it is
and a conscious-minded Mayna usually wouldn't go for it.
I am just writing this out because I have no one to talk to other than my ownself
but monologues at this kind of situation are most likely will drive me astray so--
I had to write.
I am just writing this to tell myself that I am/was aware of what I am feeling now.
Whatever the progress is, to south or north--
I knew this. I was aware of this, on 28th April 2018.
Ingat Mayna. You realised this. Your right mind acknowledged this.
If anything happens later, you can only blame yourself.
This is risky, and you were aware of that.
Stop everything now, or brace yourself.
Allah, guide me and don't let me go astray please.